He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i drank out of a bidet.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
