I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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