just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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