It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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