You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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