I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
