yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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