She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
