Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.

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(941): View more from Florida

Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES

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