All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
