real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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