Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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