Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I need to align my fucking chakras
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
