I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
