There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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