her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
