break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
