You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
