After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
