Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
