I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
