Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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