mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
