just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
