So drunk its hurt
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize