I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
