I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
