i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
