Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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