the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Can Purell be used as lube?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
