I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
handjob tips. give me some.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
