she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
