And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You ruined the universe
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
