Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
