dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
