Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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