Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
