Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
