I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
