I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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