I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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