We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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