This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
