Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
