Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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