I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
