I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
