sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
