party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
