nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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