Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
