You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
there is glitter all over my balls
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
