so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
