yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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